My neighbor wants to kill me. What should I do?

The problem with the body in my back (see previous post) yard will not go away. I decided the best sollution was to remove it. I delegated Anthony to take care of it. He delegated Jesus (new gardener) to take care of it. Jesus, it would appear is a rather lazy fellow, took it upon himself to simply heave it over the wisteria hedge into the neighbors yard. Unfortunatly it landed atop his prize rhododenrons. I dispatched Anthony to reason with the neighbor. After being beaten soundly about the head and shoulders by a 9 iron (could have been a 6 but Anthony was a bit addled) Anthony returned to inform me that the neighbor was going to be coming over to exact his revenge upon me. I had Jesus bring the body back but the rhododendrons seem to be the issue. I offered to have Jesus replant them to no avail. Alerting the authorities is obviously not an option. I suppose I could act proactively, but then I would have another disposal problem. What to do? What to do?

My neighbor wants to kill me. What should I do?
Tell Jesus to cash in the favor that the people from Culiacan owe him from that time he was in Bogota (he knows what I am talking about). Be sure to plan a vacation or be seen in public the day that they will be over at your neighbors house. By the next day your neighbor will be wearing a neck tie directly from Colombia. Don't worry about the disposal... they need the bodies to transport some more merchandise. Problem solved.... Any other questions?
Reply:kill him first...lol
Reply:Geez, wish I could help you Dave B., but my back yard is full now. And my trunk!!!!


And I have a confession. %26lt;gulp%26gt; Francisco and Ricardo did not get deported, they have converted and are here with me. I pay them well, and they are ever so useful in getting rid of the bodies that are just piling up, yes sir-re-roni, just piling up. So if you want to see either alive again you will be my slave for life, no? Oh c'mon please, please, please, just try it-you'll like it. %26lt;a knowing glance and a wink as she sashays away%26gt;
Reply:elementary my dear chap, kill the neighbor first!
Reply:My that is a dilemma your in........I'd move.......quickly........avoid a disposal problem, not to mention another 99 years...... :)
Reply:do him





you have no option, unless you can frame the body on him





nah, just do him, more fertilizer for the flowers
Reply:do unto him before he does unto u,then act smart and blame the murder on someone else.
Reply:There are better places to publish your short fiction.
Reply:if he is realy going to kill you call the police or move with out him knowing!
Reply:get a gun and defend yourself
Reply:meds time....
Reply:Time for a road trip.
Reply:Your neighbor has the right idea.





You should beat him to the punch and eat a gun.





We'd all, and I do mean ALL, feel better then.
Reply:sounds like you are going to have 2 bodies to dispose of
Reply:Stand there and let them do it--slowly and painfully, but completely.
Reply:preemptive strike!!!





get that bastard!
Reply:You deserve to be shot, quit complaining.
Reply:Just put the pipe down and get some rest.
Reply:Now you know how he feels.
Reply:wow your in quite a quandry aren't you